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(with me)

the stars in your eyes light up the sky.... angels and airwaves the way it should be. [14 Jul 2013|04:34am]
first of all, youtube needs to cut this add shit out. It totally breaks the vibe of the progression. on to groove shark I go to make the transition clear. SO my chick saw I was using incognito mode on chrome. I didn't want to her to know that I writing in a journal. Is that so bad I just wanted somewhere to vent on the internet that could be not viewed by parents or loved ones? Oh well. I really miss my dogs. Like a lot. My Fred should be around still kickin it, he died at the age of 8. Not ok, neglect at its best. I don't want to get into it to be honest.

Have you ever looked at yourself and just wished you had taken a different route? You are stuck with your choice and don't have a fucking choice to turn your head and open the door to let you out.

(with me)

youre the sun thats crushing my back [13 Jul 2013|04:43pm]
I swear as I get older I regret more than I'd have ever imagined. Im still the same person yet my actions and decisions are based upon an old glory or satisfaction/glorification of a former being that used to inhabit this being. I used to write. A lot. Pornos to sick novelettes. What the fuck happend to me. Only one thing to break this cycle I believe. I used to write all the time because I was grounded. I am officially grounding myself and re-creating my long lost loves.

(1 screamed | with me)

hello children [23 Oct 2012|03:49am]
I am sitting here with my big kutty Garfield. I am doing a little thinking back on my past as always... I remember the days a little place called Camp Eagle Rock.... I met the most amazing people there. I used to hate going there because it was the drop off point for my parents to ditch me. Then I met a bunch of awesome people that made my time there amazing and I still wish i had a relationship with them to this day. But people move on, get married and move away. I am still here. But on a new path... just like everyone I wish I had taken the left instead of taking the preverbal right, but then again thats what makes life fun. We make choices and have to live with them. I cant believe that I can actually say if I was ten years younger I wanted to be a screamer in a band.... Between you and me I still do :) hahhaa old habits die hard. To be completely honest its all good. I am who I am and that works out just fine for me.

(with me)

Yes I am starting the trend again [26 Jun 2012|06:34am]
I have been on hiatus for a few years. I had such a good time re reading my old posts I am gonna jump this wagon again. I am currently trying to enroll into UNCC fucking college sucks dude. So much work for a pay off I dont really see as that important.... although my wallet does. And fuck cash as well.

It was so much easier to write in this thing back in the day.


*had to be edited, sorry bro...

(1 screamed | with me)

so so so [25 Jul 2009|04:51am]
I have two children now. Mary Jane and Garfield. I lvoe them. I own an apartment close to the arboretum. i live with my girldriend. who is currently getting off to american idol re runs. vomit. anyway. im currently not wearing a shirt and am chilling under neath a air conditioning vent. the air just stopped so im not cold. my house is full of clutter and debris. empty bottles every where. empty hearts gasping their last.


i think i can make my mark on the world still. as does everyone.

(with me)

well hello [25 May 2009|02:43am]
My name is Ryan Lynch

I have not posted in here for quite some time. Although i have much to say. I cant quite place the words correctly. I feel as if my head is in a vice. I wont explain why i feel as such, for this is for me to look back on and not you. I want to just say the heart hurts as always... even though i should be content. I should be content but I am not. There you have it. There I have it.

I have the scar to prove it,
I have the motive to remember it

(with me)

woah [09 Oct 2008|05:35am]
So I just read a few things that i have written over the last half decade... and holy shit ive been through some nuts things. And ive been completely ridiculous in many ways. I know it was fun while it was going on for sure haha. I was just dumb... im still pretty dumb come to think of it haha. Well im in Johnson and Wales now... studying hotel management and its ok. Im still highly considering the burger shack in Hawaii hahaha.

Im just up all night now studyin for a mid term that im really not ready for. But thats ok. Im quite alright just now.

I havent changed that much and not so sure i fit in here... this school this country... who knows... i can handle it... just wont be so enjoyable.

im glad this things saved all my thoughts and randomness.

(4 screamed | with me)

hashy cashy [07 Oct 2007|01:14am]

oooooo lawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwdy...... these ladies up here are gonna be the deathhh of me. i get eye raped allllll damn day.. so this long weekend ive decieded to take a break from the city and life in general. i got hit on at a hotdog stand today, she was a lil blonde cutie and was deff worth a talkin to... just the situation was soo trashy.... but i digged it. all i could manage was a confused smile... and just be pissed about the rain .... i wish i could go back at least 9 times this week... it would have been soooo worth it... 

goal for next week: stop being a pussy

its not that im scared to talk to them cause i do it everyday at school... which is by the way killin me... two girls this week straight up asked me out. like be my boyfriend right meow! i just want the next actual "girl friend" to be the reallll deal... not just some slut or stoopid girl... im talkin classy, mind of her own, fuckin awesome chick. thats what i neeeeds

well im out and tired ...

hope everyones term is goin well

 

peaceeeeee

(with me)

im fuckin stoooopid mannnn [30 Jul 2007|04:01pm]

haha ive been doin some dumb shit lately... i wont go into details, its not anything life threatening or dangerous, just ridiculous.... hahaha o well... ive been havin alot of fun though, i just need to sleep more

i need money too... mucho money like now

(with me)

dixie cups and long pulls [25 Jul 2007|01:25pm]
man i want a kid... 

not now.. i mean if it were financially possible id do it, id find some crazy ass chick to match me, and just do it

ive been watchin to many movies

(with me)

smoke this mannnn [21 Jul 2007|10:40pm]

Hp, the last fuckin book, ever, came out last night and ive been readin the fuck out of it... ive put in some solid ours too, fuckin 300 pgs in a day is kick ass. hahaha i havent slept much today but fuck yea i got the book, it kinda sucks readin it in a way though... its the last time i get to read somethin new , its just hp got me to read in the first place so its a bummer. 

but other than that ive just been chillin, and workin out believe it or not haha, 
i got my hair cut
i be eatin a ton 
fixed up my guitar
been playin the bitch 
smokin
beerin

yea thats it

(4 screamed | with me)

Revolving Routes Turn South [16 Jul 2007|12:16am]


Revolving Routes Turn South

By: Ryan Lynch

 

Mental despair, complete insanity, and rosy cheeks; this is my being in a nut shell. I lay on my bed entangled in sheets with three cigarettes burning at once. Rolling around on my bed grasping my stomach with red irritated eyes, hacking shamelessly, the picture frame in my vacant hand broke under the force from my numb fist. I feel the glass embedding itself in my skin. No pain whatsoever. I sit up straight and admire the damage inflicted upon myself. With all the blood around, our picture escaped with merely a little smear of blood on your neck. Ironically enough I felt that seemed a good look for you.

I fumbled through the disturbed, newly stained sheets for the bottle of revelation. That sweet sick burn got me every time. I cringed and smoked one of the smoldering cigarettes closest to me. After a deep inhale I took one last chance glance at your face; manipulative, beautiful, drunk, and naked. I felt the urge to continue to weep almost unbearable, but just like I always did, I gulped it down in the same old sweet sick burning way.  I spent the rest of that night asleep with my head resting on the toilet basin. The cold porcelain became slick and wet from my drooling through out the night, but dared not to move for the earth and my head seemed to be out of a signal for the time being.

 

The next morning was oddly enough, pleasant. The sun was shining bright and I started out my day with a cigarette like I had for many years. As I sat in my living room, slowly waking up, I decided it was time to change a few things, having noticed random items that made my stomach churn with a mere glance. It was THE time for change, and I wasn’t complaining about it anymore. Once I spent a quarter of an hour debating my plan of action, I decided upon something peculiar. I was to move. I was to move far away from everyone and everything.  I had no car, but my feet were in good shape.  I had no degrees of any kind, but I had working experience.  I was a poor string less puppet without a proper home or owner, and quite worn to add on to the list.

Where to go? Having not left the east coast for well… all of my life, I decided to move down south. Massachusetts felt better behind me than it did before me my whole life up until this point.  Having little money in my pocket and a guitar on my back, I was in a great mood. My hair was blasted back as cars sped past honking and screaming things like, “Nam’s over douche bag!” or my personal favorite of the day, “ I smoke rocks! Woooooo!” These things all made my day all the much more enjoyable, for it was very hot and it was tiring lugging my things along the highway. As dusk set along my path, I started looking for a place to crash for the night.

My 4 star suite was located under an under pass. I spent the night on top of the high-rise watching cars speed by. I felt unusually comfortable in these unusual surroundings.  My little fire kept me company until its life seeped away causing my eyes to grow heavy, and drift off into sleep.

I began walking, the sun was high above and I was sweating profusely. My soaked clothes weighed me down making me clumsy. I tripped and fell face first on the pavement. I closed my eyes as my face lay still hard pressed on the concrete, soaking up all the pain in my face. I laid there for not long when I heard the roll of tires creeping not two inches in front of my face. Sitting up, I quickly admired the damage done, and sought out the identity of my unknown caller on my piece of road at this moment.  I stared for a moment; hardly believing what my eyes were showing me. It was a woman, whom had the striking resemblance of a goddess if I ever saw one.  Her honey blonde hair lay about her face in wispy curtains shielding her eyes from me.  Her bright red convertible of some kind seemed to fit her mysterious persona like a puzzle piece.

She didn’t speak one word neither did I. She merely leaned over the passenger seat, lifted the handle, and gestured for me to get in. I didn’t argue, I threw my things in the back and shut the door rather louder than I had wanted. She put the car in drive and sped off along the highway. I chanced glances at her whenever a turn permitted me to do so without her noticing. I did this for a couple miles when suddenly, she spoke: “Where are you headed?”  It took me awhile to calm my nervous nature whilst I composed a solid answer. “I don’t know.” It was the truthful response seeing as I had no idea where I was headed exactly. “Well that’s fantastic; I’m headed in the exact same direction as you.” The monotonous sound of her voice gave me what little insight I needed to know about her past. She was hurt just as I, if not more.

The conversation, no matter how short it was seemed to be enough for her. I was beginning to like her already. Hours went by with the local radio blasting random alternative beats that blended together with the roar of the wind to my ears. I spent the time wondering one question and one question only; what was her name? I was starting to wonder when the gas would cause us to make a stop, thus leading to the inevitable burden of more conversation. Just minutes later I heard the turn signals universal clicking. We took a left into what appeared to be a gas station.  Everything n’ Nothing Mart; the name put a wide grin across my face. This would be the place to talk. This would be the place where the next few days of my life would be decided. 

As we pulled up to the gas pump I felt the car come to a slow but measured stop. I hear a sigh escape her mouth as she put the car into park. I look over to see her head resting on the steering wheel, staring at me. Her eyes were not covered this time. An icy blue mixed with a subtle shade of gray, they reminded me of a dreary day on the shores of my favorite beach, yet they were so full of life. I could do nothing but hold my breath, and her gaze. She smiled eventually, pulling her sleek hair behind her ear, she spoke again…

“I’m Essence.” She said in a voice just above a whisper. “I’m Jessie.” I said in the same voice. Throughout our introduction we held each others gaze the entire time. She eventually broke the contact by positioning her head so she was looking down upon the carpeted floor, she closed her eyes. As if an electric shock had crept out from her seat, she jumped and got out of the car. She quickly disappeared within the shop. I reached into my pockets for my cigarettes, opened the carton which revealed one last stick. I slid the last solider standing behind my ear and exited the car.

When I entered the shop I noticed that it was only the cashier standing in the small rank shop, where was Essence? The old man behind the counter observed my actions and quickly said, “She’s in the back.” He pointed to the sign that read, “Restrooms.” I lifted my hand as a sign of gratitude and made my way around the back where the drinks were kept. I returned to the front counter with my arms full of the necessities to keep me going for the next few days; three bottles of vodka, two forty ounce beers, and assorted snacks. “Looks like you all are in for a hell of a night” said the old man sarcastically. I ignored him and asked for a carton of camels which he placed on the counter next to my other purchases. “Thirty dollars and ninety four cents please” said the old man almost absent mindedly. “You don’t want to see my I.D.?” I asked tensely. “No, no, we all have our fixes young man, some are healthier then others, none the less the fix chooses us… not the other way round’.” I smiled and left the shop.

I took out a beer and packed away the rest in my bag. I cracked it, tossed my cig, and began gulping down the bitter liquid. I had no intention of stopping until the bottle was at least half gone, but a quiet voice in my ear made me gasp and choke. “Were you planning on sharing that or were you just going to indulge yourself while I drive these lonesome streets sober?” she wore a sad smile but meant the statement to be humorous. After I wiped the foam from my unshaven face, I passed the bottle to the left.  She got in the car and placed her bag on my lap. I noticed she had bought another two bottles of vodka and another carton of cigarettes. I began to smile and she caught it immediately, “You have a warm smile, you should wear it more. What’s the occasion anyway?”  I turned around and showed her the contents of my bag. “Well shit, you’re straight after my heart, aren’t you now?”

We hadn’t even driven a mile when she finished the beer and chucked it out the window and burped like she was one of the guys....

just the beggining

(with me)

i changed my mind [07 Jul 2007|09:00pm]

summer is bein straighttt as fuck haha.... it was startin down a path i didnt really wanna go but as of now im kickin itttt.... just gotta get this govt shit done and find a place to live and ill be straightt

just saw my bro steven from back in the day... stayed at his place last night in rockhill and that was some funnn times... then i went to carowinds today and i hadnt been there in years... deff still straight haha

uhhh yea im drawin a blank so hope everyone else is doin good and yea.... im out

(2 screamed | with me)

summer is weakkkkkk [30 Jun 2007|12:00am]

so .... summer is bein weakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk..... ive got no job... ive been tryin still no call back..... meghan says hello? but fuck it... ive been sortin shit out with school and the candain govt... sooooo fuckkkkkkkkk charlotte jobs... and fuck charlotte bitches.... shits weakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk


U know im so fuckin rdy to start my life... a new place with no previous drama.... just start the fuck over.... and by the way charlotte chicks... STOP TAKIN ADVANTAGE OF ME!!!!! fuck....


i just want a peacful summer.... is that so much to ask for.... sheyitttttttttt

(with me)

my bday [17 May 2007|04:20pm]
welll now im 19 and dont feel different at all haha ... my day was straight i chilled most the day with kain then saw dre later... went out to eat and that was about it.... 

tmrw im goin out to some bars i think but yea... thats about it for my bday... im suprised most people remembered good people man... felt loved on the birthday haha 

ummmm sooo my dads still a doosh bag and acts like a 13 yearo ld girl

tests end on wed. then im off to valle i think for awhile and thats about it .... yayo...

(1 screamed | with me)

wasssup guyssss [11 May 2007|12:29pm]
soooo ive just been basically chillin and yea... nothin too great... ive been able to go out a little bit which is nice... speaking of which im going to the battle of the bands tonight.... licaaaaaaa nigga hahaha and i got my hair cut super short... cause ya i duno... i look hott though... im on the prowl tonight... get my beer googles goin... i have been super good lately too.. like all my bogus habbits arnt so important to me anymore which im hella pumped about

ummm i might be working at this camp near jackies school so she bettttttttttttter be a rad friend and come get me and show me that apartment of hers... hehehe .... but yea ill make liike 3 grand so that will be gnarly... deff need moneys for BC 

speakin of which i cantttttttttttttttt wait to get the fuck out of here

(with me)

emily carrrrr [27 Apr 2007|10:07am]
dude... ok so yesterday was exactly what i needed to turn a frown upside down... i got accepted into emily car institute of art and design.... 

i get kicked out of highschool for drinkin my ass off... and still get into my college of first choice... that is fucking lucccccccccky hahaha but hell im not gonna let this chance go to wast e... im on my way to doing what i actually want in life wich is be in the film industry... im just pumped im not wackin off all next year in some half rate community college 

so me and my bro kain are gonna live in this bomb ass apartment hopefully on granvil island... which is where the school is... o for those who dont know Emily Carr is in Vancuver BC... which if uve known me at all these last 5 years u would know ive wanted to go there since forever ago ... everybodys welcome to visit... 

i actually want it to be september already haha

(with me)

[18 Apr 2007|12:09am]

I slammed the door and stepped out into the cold night. The crisp air stings my nose as i breathe out a sigh. I pull out my ciggarettes and just when i about lit the fag, i hear crash of dinner plates collide with the door... smashing to pieces. I pop my collar and walked down the street cowering away from the harsh cold.  To zone out, and leave this world is bliss. To step out of the skin that itches the very soul of you makes it all the more addicting. 

I lead the double life. Hey i'll get a double feature when i die... two for the price of one... it's an absolute steal. I'll start by relating the first time i met Miss Vanity. 


You know when you first step on your flight, you look for your seat and more importantly... you look to see who is sitting beside you. One can only hope it's not a screaming kid or an old lady who feels that everyone is entitled to know her family gossip from 1912 on. But every once in awhile, you luck out. You take a seat next to the sexiest thing you have set eyes on that month. Take your seat... smile awkwardly... and turn away never to say a word again. 

But this time was different. Out of the corner of my eye i saw her watching me as i took off my coat. She was actually checking me out! I couldn't believe it... then i noticed something else i had lost my wedding ring.  At any other time this would have seriously pissed me off, but something stopped the anger dead in it's tracks... pure curiosity. That is the only way to explain it. She tells me her name is Vanity, and by god did she live up to her name. 

I order some drinks to calm my nerves, she doesn't even drink a drop. Her eyes never leave my face. I have to break gaze just because she made me nervous. We talked for a good hour... no matter what i said she laughed, and i tested this theory... the woman didnt give a fuck as to what i said, she wanted something more. I was in the middle of telling her about my new place up town, when i stopped; her foot was slowly going up and down my leg. All i could do was stop my jaw from hitting my lap. She grinned when she saw her effect on me. She leaned in slowly... pressed her lips to my neck and whispered..."I'm going to the bathroom to change... will you give me a hand or am i on my own here?" 

All i could manage to do was get to my feet and let her out. I watched her walk down the asile... trim, slender legs... round cut ass....that was all i needed. She haden't even managed to close the door when my hand appeared in the closing. I slammed the door closed behind me. She didn't have a chance to smile that smile... my lips collided with hers. She kissed beautifully, not sloppy and disgusting... perfection at best.  In our abrupt dance... we stepped towords the wall... her back pressed against it... my chest pressed into hers. With a final kiss she pushes me back; my eyes are on fire... watching her. 

She looks down at her white buttoned down blouse... fondling the top button she watches my facial expression. She undoes each slowly and with purpose. Slowly her red bra starts to appear... her fingers stop half way through the line up. She steps toward me... she kissed my lips softly, as she did this the undid my belt... then the pants hit the floor. She slowly drops to one knee not breaking eye contact. At this point im going crazy... a million things running through my head at once... all enough to make my head swell... but not out swell my... she was gooooood.... but just as soon as it had started it stopped... she slowly rose to her feet... pulling my shirt so that i was close as before. She turns her body and presses her cheek to the coolnes of the plastic wall. 

I embraced her from behind... my hands on her hips and my breath on her neck. Her breathing was suttle but her heart raced as my hands admired the sculpted body. Rubbing up on me and teasing me... i hated it... i was going fucking crazy... so i did something about it... my hands went up her thighs underneath the soft skirt... i found the lock and removed it completely. Her inner thigh was as smooth as her tongue to my senses, she gasps....  she was already wet... ready for me... Her nails scratch the walls as she clawed them pushing out her back at the same time... At this point i could not take it any longer.... i upped her skirt and moved in for the kill... I was half way there when she winces, i take note and eased my way home. I took a second to let my heart rate slow... slowly rocking her hips up and down against me. she takes it slow and gracefully... moving back and forth... enjoying every second... her pace speeds up, completely taking control... all i had to do was stand... and take it all in.  But slow and steady wasn't my style... and i soon found out ... it wasnt hers either. 

I backed up... she turns to look at me with a curious expression... it was my turn to show her what i could do. Up against the wall again... this time we were animals... i grabbed her hair and exposed her neck... i bit down softly as she grabbed and directed me back home... with her right leg in one hand my other cradled her lower back... each thrust was powerful... with each one she gasped a little louder and began to shake a little more... Our moment was drawing to a close, her arms wrapped around my neck as my head lay on her shoulder... This didnt mean i was to let up... if anything i drove her longer and harder than before... the final stretch before the finish line. Her moans and gasps turned into fast paced breaths then the scream.... i about collapsed on the spot... completely satisfied i sat on the floor... "fucking airplanes" I needed a smoke, and by the looks of her... so did she.




i cant finish this... ill edit tmrw

(1 screamed | with me)

not all that shines is golden... [16 Apr 2007|02:29am]



i parked the car in nuetral,
we watch it roll down the hill in awe,
your shoulders are my comfort,
my waist is your steering wheel,
lead the way to your secret...

i gaze as my words slip and fall,
my feet mimic the same fate,
do you feel my breath on your neck?
fuck two fingers,
i feel your pulse with my lips,
did you hear me whisper?
or must i speak up?

I feel closer to you now,
more than ever,
i wrote you something beautiful,
but my eyes stray,
but not far from the essence,
my chest rises and falls,
you screamed,
though loud i cant make out a reason,
lights are due to go out soon,
so say your peace,
i am out of time,
i love you,
feel closer to me.

(1 screamed | with me)

welll [14 Jan 2007|12:03pm]
friday.....

i got busted for booze on my breath.... had a meeting with the admin. im likely to be expelled from school.... krystas movin back to michigan.... happy new year

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